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Comment by Stephanie von Bidder on September 21, 2009 at 7:17pm

Hi everybody,
this discussion reminds me of an answer Steve de Shazer was said to have given when he was asked what to do best if a hypothesis is popping up in a coach. He said take an aspirin and sit in a corner till it works..... Don't we all often seem to know very quickly... Steves' answer helps me to sit back and wait and to use my body and my attitude to indicate: I am here and curious what next, you as a client tell me and have to say.
greets Stephanie

Comment by Birgitta Friberg on September 21, 2009 at 6:30pm

Thanks to Jenny, Michael, Carol and Elta, you are absolutely wonderful! I would like to try all three exercises and I will! This is really amazing! I have not figured out yet all the things I can use this network for, but I have learned some time ago that uncertainty is good for you so for now I will just dwell in my happiness!

Comment by Jenny Clarke on September 21, 2009 at 6:00pm

Oops - yes Nancy Kline (not Klein). My attempts to learn German paying off....?

Comment by Michael Hjerth on September 21, 2009 at 4:29pm

Ah...Posture. This is an interesting choice of words. Not knowing posture. It involves the body. So much of talk, thought, emotion, is embodied. We weigh alternatives. Open posibilities, take steps, get stuck, feel down or up. I'm increasingly try to include the bodily part of thought and language. For example, many questions in sf can be seen as postures, movement, and forces. Questions feellike something.

At the risk of being seen as having lost my mind. I'll tell you how I currently think. Inspired by qigong techniques, I work with several postures, movement and sense of force. For example, we can embody and experience the feeling of "a step". The step on a scale question/posture/movement has several parts. (1) Being so steady that you can lift one leg. Sink your weight. (2) "Pour" the weight onto one leg and foot. Without lifting the other foot. (3) Lift the the empty foot, and stretch it out one step ahead without resting on it, keeping the weight on the other foot. Not moving ahead. The empty front foot is a "possible step", or the front foot feels "steppable". That is the feeling of "suppose you've went from 4 to 5, how would you know?". (4) Then you can move your weight from the back foot to the front, without lifting the back foot, leaving it "empty". The gives weight to the possibility. (5) Then with the weight on the front foot. Move the back foot parallel to the front and (6) distrubute weight to both feet. You are there. A new reality. That is the feeling of moving up one step.

When you get the feeling of a question, how the "wondering" feels like. The actual questions follow effortlessly.

Be well
Michael

Comment by Carole Waskett on September 21, 2009 at 3:08pm

Hello Birgitta, and Jenny and Elta,
This conversation has helped me think a bit more about this - I often feel this position is the hardest bit of SF for students to 'get' and I should probably spend more time on it. I've never been able to work out how, apart from 'explaining' which is a bit overrated! These 2 exercises could be very helpful - thank you! I might go back to Nancy Kline too.
Best wishes,
Carole

Comment by Elta Boshard on September 21, 2009 at 1:42pm

Hi, Berigitta,
Thanks Jenny for reminding us of Nancy's very helpful exercise... I am working my way through “Time To Think”…again ;-)

However, I find that my some of my more 'self-conscious' students often struggle with their practise of the not-knowing posture.

I make use of another “posture exercise” (my own concoction, if I remember correctly) by asking students : “think briefly of a non-existent balloon ... just floating in the space between A (me) and B (client). Now let’s wonder what B could possibly put into the balloon… and hold the curiosity… breathe out softly, Sit back, and Listen
Hope it helps
Elta

Comment by Jenny Clarke on September 21, 2009 at 1:01pm

Hi Birgitta
My favourite exercise which meets this is Nancy Klein's "What do you want to think about?" It's a pairs exercise in which the instructions to A are simply to ask B "What do you want to think about?" and then say NOTHING more, just stay looking at B, for EIGHT minutes. B doesn't have to maintain eye contact and just thinks out loud. People think they'll never manage to talk for 8 minutes - but they do! And often/ususally come to some resolution without any help from A. A nice reminder of how useful a good listener can be - the client is the expert.

Jenny

Comment by Birgitta Friberg on September 21, 2009 at 12:28pm

Hello. I do recognise myself and my situation in what Carol wrote earlier "many of us, I would guess, are not only teaching 'how to do SF' but also training on lots of other topics using an SF approach." What I would find very useful would be a good exercixe to practise the not-knowing posture. So what I would like to ask is if anyone has such a good exercise to practise the not-knowing posture? Thank you for considering this. Birgitta

Comment by Carole Waskett on June 9, 2009 at 4:32pm

Hello, thanks for several answers - so quick too!! Not to mention helpful. What a great group.
I've spent a lot of my life trying to meet other people's requirements when I really should recognise my own gut feelings. I've opened negotiations instead of just saying yes OK!! They want it by early July and I am ready to talk . . . This commissioning conversation is one of the key predictors of a good training course, I'm sure, and I'm going to stick with that. Thank you for giving me some confidence to stick with what I feel and know -
All the best,
Carole

Comment by Edwin Tan on June 9, 2009 at 3:48pm

HI Carole

I agree with Stephanie. It seems an awful lot to cover in one day. Maybe I can check with the drug comp rep on what is the workshop going to be called? May give you an idea on the common thread through all these different topics. You may even check to see what might be one KEY point from each topic that might be useful for the nurses. Hope this helps.

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