"coaching" of a 55 year old non diagnosed ADHD man on a jobhunt

[Veronika Wuyts]

hello,

 

next week I will have an intake with a 55 year old man, who happens to be my brother in law, who asked me for a talk after his latest failed hope for a job.

how do I approach this best, knowing that his ADHD is not spoken of, was never diagnosed nor treated properly. He is a school drop out, a very original and talented musician without public, never could keep a job longer than a couple of years and has a good marriage.  (his adhd is our firm guess since my husband lived with him for years and when our son was diagnosed with adhd, my husband finally understood what he had see whole his youth)

any ideas that could help me are welcome. I know "coaching" a family member is not really done (deontology) but he asked (at last) for help to set him back on track. I want at least have that first talk with him and do as much good as I can....

 

thanks for any advice you can give :)

have a great weekend

[Mark McKergow]

Hi Veronika,

 

Thanks for sharing this situation.  As nobody else has responded, I just wanted to say a few words. 

 

Please be very very careful with this.  Coaching family members is a highly difficult situation, especially if there is to be a formal arrangement (it might be easier to do something very informal) - as your multiple connections with this person cannot be fully untangled, however professional you are.  If you really must go ahead (and I advise finding someone else to work with him), then at least get the adhd idea out of your head and meet him in his resources to start with.  Please, think very carefully before getting any more involved here.

 

Cheers, Mark

[Veronika Wuyts]

thanks Mark for getting back to me. about the adhd, that is exactly what i did, erase it. i let him fill in the strengthsfinder 2.0 and that was from the start a good point because we started with his strengths. I told him also about my fear of getting too involved, the family business for which he had full understanding.

I proposed to be a sounding board when he needed it but nothing formal indeed. he went away with a very good feeling and some recognition by himself for himself.

thanks again for your feedback, take care :) 

[Mark McKergow]

Hi Veronika

Well done.  Sounds like you found a way to give him a little support without getting too involved. 

 

Cheers, Mark