Distinction: SF coaching vs. "being positive"

[Paolo Terni]

Inspired by the latest posting by Kirsten Dierolf,
I wrote something about SF vs. "being positive":

Solution-Focused coaching is not about “being positive”.
Solution-Focused is not about denying the reality of tough situations.

Solution-Focused coaching is about noticing what works - in a fact-finding manner.
It is about helping clients observe what they are doing: what does not work (and the client is very aware of that), and what does work (here the client might need a little help: due to the Negativity Bias we are built to pay more attention to the negative - but the point is that we, as SF practitioners, do not add anything!)

It is about exploring the resources clients bring to the coaching session - without any judgement, positive or negative. We are just “resource detectives” - and because we are professional “resource detectives”, we are not planting any evidence!

Read it all here.

[Jesper H Christiansen]

Hi Paolo
Thanks for the fine small twist that (to me) gives it a SF touch.

Jesper

[Paolo Terni]

Hi Jesper!

You write: "But an invitation to change perspective on a situation - is that a positive spin?"
What do you think? Because the way you stated it, i am not sure...

I would have answered no, if you just had framed the question a little bit differently:"but an invitation to EXPLORE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES on a situation - is that a positive spin?"

Ciao!!

[Jesper H Christiansen]

Ok, didn't get that point at first - you're right.
But an invitation to change perspective on a situation - is that a positive spin?
Like: "What if the other part was trying to achieve something good although it seems not to be appropriate from where you stand?".

Cheers
Jesper
PS I am off now for the weekend and can't respond untill Monday. -> Take care!

[Paolo Terni]

Hi Jesper!

yes, most definitely: good intentions sometimes are not reflected in actual behaviors, and many behaviors (according to NLP, it is useful to presuppose that ALL behaviors do) have positive intentions at their roots.

But it is the client that has to do that shift - and he or she cannot do it if I try to put a positive spin on it.

Ciao,
Paolo

Cheers,
Paolo

[Jesper H Christiansen]

Thanks Paolo!
At SOL summer university in Budapest 2007 one of my SF insights were:
'Conflicts is missing coordination between good intentions'. If looking at conflicts that way it helps me (and involved people) to approach something that stresses and hurts in an alternative ressourceful way.
That is saying: What could be behind that negative situation that is trying to do some good?
Respecting everybody involved as persons not trying to do harm but is somehow obstructed in their ways of doing good.

Jesper